As I write to you, I'm flying up the A30 to Carnglaze Caverns for the Halloween show you should be paying attention to! What this means is that you'll get todays post in realtime - how I psych myself up to get on that stage and basque in your utter adoration.
Pills & Liquor!
Not quite in the party-hard sense of the roaring 20s - We abide by a 2 drink maximum rule (watched too many queens make a fool of themselves on stage while drunk!) and following an exacerbation of anxiety this summer, a beta-blocker helps manage symptoms.
But how do I do it i hear you ask. It's a tough battle actually - years of conditioning from a particular parenting style have gifted me with a fiercely abusive inner monologue, and therein lies the secret: i know as much as that voice does, cos that voice is also me. And i have a choice: i can choose to stop being mean to myself. What if it goes right? What if they all laugh with me? (For levity, you can picture me doing my best nutty professor impression: "Yes. I. Can!").
Of course, there are compromises. This is a journey, not a trip to the shops! I won't be singing just yet - I'm dying to do it though!) and my words are scripted (by me!)
And of course, ever beside me, is Object, keeping things going when I'm ready to stop and drop. Like driving us to the venue so I can update you all on my life, you lucky lucky things!
See you all tonight, if not, you best have a good excuse.
Yours if you have tickets,
Evilyn x
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